You're not in the universe. The universe is in you.

Honestly, that would make a great bumper sticker.

We know from science that our bodies, and everything on this planet, came from a dying star. But what I’m talking about is Source energy. Ancient Indian philosophers have written about this for a long time, but my first introduction came from a book called “Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsch, which I highly recommend. It explains spiritual concepts in plain, easy-to-understand language.  

The basic idea is that Source/God is not some guy up in the sky keeping track of what we did wrong. I’m pretty sure that’s Santa’s job.

Source is not like that. Source is pure, unconditional love energy. It’s formless, infinite, and inside everything because it is everything. There is nothing else. You are not part of it. You are it. If Source is the ocean, you are a wave. You can see an individual wave, but it is still the ocean, still connected, still has access to all of what the ocean is.

It’s one thing to believe that with just the knowledge. It’s another thing entirely to experience it. That happened to me, and it completely validated this belief.

One night, I was dreaming when it was suddenly interrupted and just stopped. I was taken out of “dreamland” and didn’t really feel like I was in a place; it was more of a state. And that state was pure bliss. It was the strongest energy I’ve ever felt, and I knew it was Source. This was so blissful, and so all-encompassing, all I could think was, “More please,” over and over. That’s it. You couldn’t really think. It was pure presence. Any sense of need or lack disappeared.

Afterward, I realized that there was no way that negativity could exist in that state. There’s no reason for it. You’re complete: no needs, no wants, no desires, just pure bliss.

I told my mom about this. She’s Catholic and believes in demons and hell and all that. I told her there’s no way anything like that could exist in that energy. She didn’t respond, but I don’t blame her. It’s hard to question something you’ve been told your entire life. I mean it, though, there is nothing to fear.

I found out that this experience has a name. It’s called Ananda. Bliss. Which, strangely, is one letter off my name, Amanda. Amanda has Latin roots and means loved. Very similar meanings, interestingly. That’s what Source actually is, and for a few seconds, I experienced it without the filter of a body.

I had a related experience after my Kundalini awakening. During the initial experience, I had strong waves of pleasurable energy move through my entire body. In the following days, that energy stayed but was a little less intense. It felt like how you feel when you’re completely relaxed, like when you’re getting a massage. I call it a warm, energetic hug. You want to just stay in bed all day and bask in it. This was the same Source energy, just filtered through a body.

This energy is what everything is made of, and it’s always accessible. Whenever I’m not feeling great, I ask for that “energetic hug,” and in a few moments, I can feel that energy move through me. I can feel it when I hold crystals as well. Crystals can amplify this energy. I also feel this energy when my angels and guides are close.

If Source is what we're made of and is pure love energy, then the idea that God is sitting somewhere judging you doesn't hold up. Love energy doesn't judge. It doesn't need to. It's not watching you fail and keeping score. It's expressing itself through you, through every moment. Source is having all these experiences of itself through each of us. We are one and the same. The same energy, experienced in different forms.

Which means your darkness isn't a problem. It's part of the experience. You can't know warmth without cold. You can't know love without its absence. The contrast isn't punishment. It's the whole point.

We weren't put here in the universe like fish in a tank. We are it. Source isn't in us the way furniture is in a room. Source is the entire room: the furniture, the floor, the air. All of it, and it’s infinite. There's no container and no contained. Just one thing, expressing itself in every direction at once.

And because there's no separation, there's also no space or time, as we experience them here. Thinking about this might hurt your brain a little. But it means that "here" and "there," and "before" and "after," are part of the human experience, not part of what's actually real underneath it.

You are not a human being trying to find your way back to something sacred. You are that sacred thing, temporarily wearing a human experience so it can know itself.

I understand this. I've felt it. I've been in that bliss state where it was completely undeniable. And I still find myself getting sucked back into the play called Earth. Bills show up. Health stuff happens. Something goes sideways, and suddenly I'm just a person having a bad week, not Source experiencing itself through contrast. Knowing doesn’t make you immune to the experience. That’s the design.

However, the more you practice coming back to this knowing, the more peace you carry, even when life happens.

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